Facebook, MySpace, Twitter....If I were more technologically and digitally inclined I could name a few more, but my point is that social networking is the new life, not real, not fake, somewhere in between. Human beings don't need human interaction anymore when they can spend hours and lifetimes in front of a computer screen promoting their super cool alter ego. If you can't detect the tone of sarcasm I have so blatantly put in that line, I consider you a lost cause, trapped in a digital world of LOL's and smiley faces.
Someone actually said to me once "TMI!", excuse me? After a very puzzled face and many a web savvy stare, I was told that it means Too Much Information. Since when did it become acceptable to communicate to people in web language? Here's one for you....WTF. No explanation needed, if you're reading this blog, I'm 99 percent sure you know your way around the world of the internet and the cultures and rules that follow closely behind it.
A friend of mine passed away, not so long ago, friend is maybe a little strong, but he was a friend on Facebook, that counts right? Sarcasm, the only tool I love and one that's slated as the lowest form of wit. Go figure. So he dies, people are mourning, funeral preparations are under way and one of the many village idiots that roam our real planet (earth by the way), says in a very sad and withdrawn tone "What should we do about his facebook account?" to my horror another responded "Don't worry (insert name-please feel free to use any name you can think-I can think of a few)Facebook memorializes accounts of deceased people, his parents just need to get hold of Facebook and his account will be left open for comments from friends...." It was at this stage that I blanked out, I think it was my brain's way of protecting itself from mindless facebook drones.
I have a facebook account, I'll be honest but I can assure you that when I die, the last thing I want is a page memorializing me, I'm all for shrines but I'm a little too modest for that. Just send me a virtual high five and press delete and I'll make my way along the digital river Styx to the recycle bin. I also don't feel the need to spend my time, tweeting, the thought of explaining to a person who actively uses their mind that I'm tweeting makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
So why you wonder, do I even have a facebook account if I am so against the new order? Ill tell you, morbid fascination, Like many of you I've been sucked into the vortex of people's lives, a virtual voyeur. Does it make me proud to say that? Of course not, but it's the truth, the real truth, not something fabricated for more friend invites. Like an addict, I too will have to endure cold turkey, simply to enjoy the forgotten pastime of coffee and a chat, face to face, the innocent touch of hands, the pat on a shoulder, instead of the cold, hard keys of a keyboard. The world is outside, dare you to shut down?
