Trust, it's an issue that is claimed to be the foundation of all our relationships. I strongly believe that statement, I don't believe that it's the entire foundation, other aspects such as love and respect make up a good portion but without trust those aspects would literally mean nothing.
It's all interconnected, as most things in life are, but after an incident that occurred today, I wondered how many people there are in my life that I can actually trust. I won't answer that because I think the answer would shock even me. If you've ever watched an Oprah show, you'll be familiar with Skype. I was speaking to a close friend of mine and admittedly giving him a mouthful, he had done something to upset me, now this is a person I trust considerably, we've chatted for hours and shared a lot with each other, when out of the blue, his friend, who by default is now my friend, tells me that he was shown the conversation by my close friend. This immediately upsets the balance of a friendship I considered to be trustworthy.
Needless to say this left me dazed and confused and scrambling to understand how the dynamics had changed so abruptly, I felt violated. Unable to talk to him anymore, I made up an excuse and did the dodging dance that I have come to do some well lately. You see, I was entrusted not to tell my close friend about his friends betrayal. It was a melting pot of betrayal and I was the only one that seemed to be keeping her word. A true position of weakness because I love giving my opinion, to a fault actually.
I seem to be put into that situation a lot, people feel they can trust me, share their secrets and it's usually friend against friend, piggy in the middle and I'm quite certain I've been unknowingly on the other side of that too. So when it comes to trust, I can feel myself becoming slightly more bitter, starting to watch what I say, keeping doors I once left wide open, shut and locked. I consider myself to open and honest and I've had to start altering who I am to protect myself from the hurt of people not being trustworthy. I was unfortunately unable to dodge this bullet.
I'm not for one second claiming perfection, in fact, I'm as human as the rest of the world but I try not to intentionally hurt other people and that's more than I can say about the people in my life nevermind the rest of the population. It saddens me that something as simple as a promise can be broken so easily, that years of trust can be destroyed in a second when one lie makes itself known, and the more lies that are told the deeper the rabbit hole becomes. Trust is as fragile as glass, it's just in its nature, let's be a little more careful in it's handling.
