To spread a loved ones ashes is a symbolic release and an acceptance of a situation that no matter how painful, will never change. My father passed away suddenly almost ten years ago. It was the most painful experience I have ever had to go through, when you lose someone who is such a profound part of your life, the transition from here to gone can be lengthy and heart wrenching.
It was a beautifully sunny day, as if the gods were smiling, as my mother and brother and I walked along a stretch of beach that had been a place of many good memories and a particular favorite of my fathers. I didn't realize it at the time but I was told later that I was clinging to the box that held his ashes as tightly as a small child. My brother was young and was crying as we walked and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. We found a spot on the rocks to let his ashes go. As my brother and I poured his ashes into the ocean, it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt free, I had been holding onto that pain for so long and I know in my heart that he would never have wanted that.
We all cried and watched the waves silently together, no words were needed. I'm a spiritual person and I believe to this day, that he was there and I'm almost certain he was smiling. We went and had a lunch at a hotel not far from the beach, another place we had frequented when we were all together. It was fitting. We cried, laughed, talked till we were all emotionally spent. We took a trip down memory lane and came back better than we had ever been.
I felt the need to share my experience with you because there are so many people out there holding onto the past, let it go, you'll be better for it. You're not forgetting, you're allowing the only constant in life to continue and that's change.
