World Of Tourism

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. I recently watched Oprah, as I'm sure many women do, and I happened to be watching a show about the book "Why Men Cheat" by Gary Neuman, needless to say I was conflicted. Being an independent woman in the 21st century is not an easy task. Juggling a career, children, the home, can be so very tiring and now we're expected to do everything in our power to please our man. My initial thought was "why can't he do something to please me?"

But after I continued watching the idea started making sense to me. Now before I have feminists banging on my door with pitchforks and torches in hand, hear me out. I honestly believe that as we develop more and more into our independent woman state we start becoming harder and fiercer and that can be very intimidating. We're not gentle and agreeing any more, we are our own people and after centuries of subservience this can shock men into finding that "dumb blonde" so to speak. I'm not saying that we need to change who we are, I'm saying we need to be aware of how we behave. I realized that in my own relationship I had switched off. The sound of my own voice moaning was driving me crazy.

So in an experiment to prove to myself and maybe a friend or two that seem to be in the same situation, I tried the appreciation rule. I bought him breakfast for work, when he asked me to pour him some cooldrink I happily agreed, when I made supper, I made something delicious and put in that extra effort. My biggest achievement was a night of romance. I lit so many candles that I was scared I was going to set the house alight and I waited patiently in my best lingerie. To my surprise, we had the best sex we've had in a while. I'm sure by that you've deduced that our sex life was in a big slump.

Now I know what you're thinking, so a woman is once again sucking it up and doing everything to please a man. But ladies, let me tell you that I was surprised at the result. It was like living with a whole new person. When I asked him to fix something on my car that I had been asking him to do for months it was suddenly a priority on his list of things to do and before I knew it, it was fixed. Not only that, we are communicating on a much deeper level, talking about all sorts of things and for hours at a time.

I realize that I'm sounding like a "The Secret" nut but I was shocked at how this method works, Ive always thought that relationships are hard work but no one ever tells you what you should be doing and I'm one of those people that always seems to be doing the wrong thing. I call it my Bridget Jones Curse. I think that if you watched that show and had an open mind you could understand the deeper meaning and apply it to your own relationship and in my case, it's clearly worked, so I say, if not why not?

What makes people happy? I dont think people can be happy because let's face it, the grass is always greener right? I started to think that maybe the pursuit of a partner is what really makes people happy. I see it in everyday life, I cant go through a day without reading or hearing stories of love and sex, relationships, break ups, make ups and all that jazz. As the human race we seem to be obsessed with finding our soul mate and I'm not judging, just last night I found myself watching a show called "Your date with destiny", enough said.

I generalise when I say this, but woman want that man.......... you know what man I'm talking about. The Knight on the white horse, a stunning specimen of masculinity, ready and willing to take care of your every need and want. It's clearly a fantasy, but a damn good one. The fantasy becomes weaker with movies and books entitled "He's Just Not That Into You" but there's always an undercurrent of hope that he truly exists and that you'll one day have the fairytale wedding and happily ever after.

For all the feminists out there, you can untwist those panties, I'm saying that from the experiences Ive had and the women that I have come across in my life, this is the general conscensus. And dont get me wrong, I have met some independent hardass's and a slip of the tongue, usually after a glass of wine, gives that little piece of information life. It's almost as if we should be ashamed to want or need a man. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, of course, you need to keep it on a healthy level, the world has enough stalkers and co dependant freaks.

The point I'm making is that while I was day dreaming about my knight, I came across an article that knocked me right out of my white horse fantasy and onto the concrete floor of reality. A woman had found her prince charming. He was everything she had wanted and a little bit more for luck. He showered her with gifts, loved her stories, laughed at her jokes and made sure she was more than satisified in the bedroom.

As all relationships do, it progressed to the "Will you marry me?" stage. She was blown away, her answer was a proud and ecstatic YES! To put the cherry right on top of this perfect cake, he's a personal trainer, break me off a piece of that! But all was not as it seemed......

While her best friend was planning her hen party, her last night of singledom, she came across a website which featured a preview of a porn movie with none other than prince charming apparently having some fun with the evil stepsister. Dramatic pause........prince charming/porn star.

I feel for this poor woman, I feel for her because not only has this story made headlines, she's left broken hearted and humiliated. He, of course, has apologised and says he didnt mean to hurt her....cue the violins..... if that were the case he would have been honest from the beginning and let the chips fall where they may but there's no use in crying over spilt milk.

So buck up sweetheart, even though I dont believe in the knight and the fantasy, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and there are good men out there, not perfect, but good and in your case, not a porn star, so keep holding onto hope and see where it takes you. We live and learn, that's guaranteed, so enjoy the lessons and make what you can out of them.