I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. I recently watched Oprah, as I'm sure many women do, and I happened to be watching a show about the book "Why Men Cheat" by Gary Neuman, needless to say I was conflicted. Being an independent woman in the 21st century is not an easy task. Juggling a career, children, the home, can be so very tiring and now we're expected to do everything in our power to please our man. My initial thought was "why can't he do something to please me?"
But after I continued watching the idea started making sense to me. Now before I have feminists banging on my door with pitchforks and torches in hand, hear me out. I honestly believe that as we develop more and more into our independent woman state we start becoming harder and fiercer and that can be very intimidating. We're not gentle and agreeing any more, we are our own people and after centuries of subservience this can shock men into finding that "dumb blonde" so to speak. I'm not saying that we need to change who we are, I'm saying we need to be aware of how we behave. I realized that in my own relationship I had switched off. The sound of my own voice moaning was driving me crazy.
So in an experiment to prove to myself and maybe a friend or two that seem to be in the same situation, I tried the appreciation rule. I bought him breakfast for work, when he asked me to pour him some cooldrink I happily agreed, when I made supper, I made something delicious and put in that extra effort. My biggest achievement was a night of romance. I lit so many candles that I was scared I was going to set the house alight and I waited patiently in my best lingerie. To my surprise, we had the best sex we've had in a while. I'm sure by that you've deduced that our sex life was in a big slump.
Now I know what you're thinking, so a woman is once again sucking it up and doing everything to please a man. But ladies, let me tell you that I was surprised at the result. It was like living with a whole new person. When I asked him to fix something on my car that I had been asking him to do for months it was suddenly a priority on his list of things to do and before I knew it, it was fixed. Not only that, we are communicating on a much deeper level, talking about all sorts of things and for hours at a time.
I realize that I'm sounding like a "The Secret" nut but I was shocked at how this method works, Ive always thought that relationships are hard work but no one ever tells you what you should be doing and I'm one of those people that always seems to be doing the wrong thing. I call it my Bridget Jones Curse. I think that if you watched that show and had an open mind you could understand the deeper meaning and apply it to your own relationship and in my case, it's clearly worked, so I say, if not why not?
