I've come to realize that people love to take. In fact that is an understatement. It's nearing the end of the year, things are slowing down and I can tell you that after having a baby and still juggling a career, I am beyond tired. It's the kind of tired that makes every muscle in your body ache. I've spent late nights at my full time job, I've freelanced for my part time job which included late nights and weekends and to top it all off I had to adapt to being a new mother. I've conquered the beast, in this case, a high paced society that expects too much from its dedicated citizens.
Unfortunately I'm one of those poor souls I like to refer to as people pleasers. It's probably a deep rooted self esteem issue but all I know for sure is that it's slowly killing me. While everyone seems to cruise through this life, I'm clawing my way through it and with about 20 people strapped to my back. When I'm busy, I'll get asked a favor, When I'm relaxing someone will feel the need to steal those precious moments with a phone call or a visit to bitch about their lives, when I'm tired I'll have to be the dedicated shoulder to cry on. I'm the problem solver, the only person willing to listen, help, assist, use..........So I started wondering why I am the only one on this god forsaken Island alone, standing on high ground and thanking the powers that be that I still have my morals in tact. I'm not a selfish person that listens to stories with a disinterested face, doesn't want to help solve a problem, doesn't want to be the person over the moon for your success or even that much needed shoulder to cry on.
But I've been transported to the other extreme, I'm the door mat. I'm here for everyone to rub their feet on for their own sense of well being. There is no balance and I'm beginning to doubt if there actually exists a balance. What's the solution? oh wait.....hold on.....I'm taking a moment, MY MOMENT. If that seems selfish.....tough luck. People need to learn to stop taking and start giving and I don't see that happening any time soon. So in the meantime, I've decided to try the silent route.....the unavailable route.....the route that will hopefully afford me five minutes of my own. Wish me luck.
