World Of Tourism

Famous for its warmth and friendliness, the city is occupied by nearly 800,000 people, many of them are artists and students. No wonder that it is popularly called "the city of students" because students from all over the country flood the city to seek better education. According to the latest survey, the pupil citizens amount to 20% of the city's total population.

Jogja is widely known as the

The world is a mixture of tall, short, fat, thin and that only helps to diversify a race that thrives on individuality. We crave to be different because in doing so we become unique. I was told from a very young age that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's whats on the inside that counts and never judge a book by it's cover. These cliche's have been my moral compass when the urge to judge arises and I find myself in a narrow minded moment. As time goes by, with everything in life, the only constant we can rely on is change and learn that in order to survive the society we live in today, we need to adapt and faster than ever before.

I couldn't help but wonder, as we learn the new ways of living from social networking to dating via webcam, how much are we willing to compromise our core beliefs? No one meets organically anymore, there are no coffee shop glances, or random meetings in the park, those are the stuff movies are made of, so what choice do we have? The World Wide Web. Dating site upon dating site has been launched and millions of people are googling their perfect match as we speak and as cold as this might seem, people are doing it more and more often.

I think it's the easiest option and although there are dangers involved there are many cases of people finding their happily ever after and retelling their hilarious "I met him on the internet" story. But as I mentioned before, times are changing and with it, the dating website world, thanks to a new dating service called beautifulpeople.com. and this is where my own core beliefs are challenged.

As the name states, you have to be beautiful to join. Who determines your beauty you ask? There is a rating system that all the current members use for judging and if you get the correct rating, you're in! Lucky you! For all the 'ugly' people in the world, it's a self esteem destroyer and a reminder of how superficial we can be. It angers me to think that a site like this could actually exist, but let's be honest, this is pretty small fry compared to some others I've come across, however it still stings the heart with it's blatant and hurtful message.

This is why people all over the world have serious issues about their appearance, I say we boycott beautifulpeople.com who's with me??

Boundaries have recently been on my mind. I'm not one for boundaries and I've been thinking that maybe I should be. With boundaries comes respect, or so I've been told. But there's the question of how do you institute a boundary with someone who is so used to the way things have been over the years? Do you have a sit down and have the awkward conversation of "this is how things need to be from now on". Currently I've been doing the dodging dance, but then I still get shackled with an awkward conversation, the "where have you been?" one.

Let me elaborate..... I'm the type of person that trusts naively, loves intensely and gives unconditionally. Now as egotistical as that sounds, I'm sure many will verify it's truth. But an incident occurred that made me think twice about the way I treat people and vice versa. It was my daughters birthday, a person who I was very close to, came into my house, ate my food, insulted my mother and behaved like white trash (there really is no other way of putting it)and needless to say I stood with my mouth hanging open practically catching flies. At one point she screamed across the room as she left "remember to bring me leftovers!" She had stayed a total of 30 minutes. To top it off, let's just say the dress code was kiddie friendly and her daughters arrived in outfits that would put hookers to shame.

I'm really not a snob, please don't get the wrong impression, but I can tell you that I like to think of myself as a person with class and when that happens, it insults every fiber of my being. I had to stop and reanalyze the people in my life and the kinds of relationships we have. I haven't seen her since then and its been over two months, she knows why I am not speaking to her, but she doesn't have the decency to find out or apologize but that's an expectation I have to get rid of quicker than the trash on a Tuesday morning. Including her.

My point, is that she is not entirely to blame for the incident, I am just as much to blame. I allow the people in my life to use me as their personal door mat and I never say anything about it, that's why I've decided to set boundaries and let the chips fall where they may. It's cliche to say but if they are true friends, they'll stick around, if not, I'll know where I really stand. I would rather have a few true friends than a million leeches. It's a cleansing feeling, cleaning out the metaphorical trash in your life. I think we all know who they are, and yet we are so scared of being ourselves and fighting for the right for our own rights! Here's to boundaries and the respecting of them!

I've come to realize that people love to take. In fact that is an understatement. It's nearing the end of the year, things are slowing down and I can tell you that after having a baby and still juggling a career, I am beyond tired. It's the kind of tired that makes every muscle in your body ache. I've spent late nights at my full time job, I've freelanced for my part time job which included late nights and weekends and to top it all off I had to adapt to being a new mother. I've conquered the beast, in this case, a high paced society that expects too much from its dedicated citizens.

Unfortunately I'm one of those poor souls I like to refer to as people pleasers. It's probably a deep rooted self esteem issue but all I know for sure is that it's slowly killing me. While everyone seems to cruise through this life, I'm clawing my way through it and with about 20 people strapped to my back. When I'm busy, I'll get asked a favor, When I'm relaxing someone will feel the need to steal those precious moments with a phone call or a visit to bitch about their lives, when I'm tired I'll have to be the dedicated shoulder to cry on. I'm the problem solver, the only person willing to listen, help, assist, use..........So I started wondering why I am the only one on this god forsaken Island alone, standing on high ground and thanking the powers that be that I still have my morals in tact. I'm not a selfish person that listens to stories with a disinterested face, doesn't want to help solve a problem, doesn't want to be the person over the moon for your success or even that much needed shoulder to cry on.

But I've been transported to the other extreme, I'm the door mat. I'm here for everyone to rub their feet on for their own sense of well being. There is no balance and I'm beginning to doubt if there actually exists a balance. What's the solution? oh wait.....hold on.....I'm taking a moment, MY MOMENT. If that seems selfish.....tough luck. People need to learn to stop taking and start giving and I don't see that happening any time soon. So in the meantime, I've decided to try the silent route.....the unavailable route.....the route that will hopefully afford me five minutes of my own. Wish me luck.

A reoccurring theme has caught my attention. At first I dismissed it as my imagination running wild and playing the "victim" one too many times but through the mist of self doubt and a naive optimism of the human spirit, I am starting to see people a little more clearly than I would like to. Ignorance truly is bliss.

My circle of friends is admittedly not large but I've always treasured the fact that the people in my life are honest, decent and people I can call, without reservation, friends, in every sense of the word. But how well do we really know each other? It can take years for someones true colors to show and by then you're so invested that you start making excuses for behavior that is mean, spiteful and down right nasty.

Unfortunately this has happened to almost all of the relationships, I believe I have nurtured, in the last few months. I have always prided myself on the fact that when a friend is in need, I have indeed been that friend to turn too. But as my life has started taking unexpected turns and certain aspects are changing, I've found a disturbing amount of jealousy. It's an unmistakable look. It's an unmistakable turn of the lips into a forced smile. Needless to say, it has made me very wary to share any kind of good news, there will be no spreading on my part, in fact, I find myself down playing my achievements and trying to be less of who I am.

A trip has unexpectedly come my way and as joyous as I am, I find that I have no one to share it with. The people I used to call "friends" have all but told me to jump off a bridge, I had one friend say "I'm going to Mozambique!" another said "Don't get your hopes up, a lot can change in a year" and another said "Oh......good for you", the pain on their face saying that one simple statement, is something that has plagued me for a while.

I remember when they went overseas, I was shouting from the rooftops, "Congrats!! Whoohoo! You're going to love it, take loads of photos and I want to see them when you get back!" and all that they can muster for me is negative sentiments, competition driven statements and forced good will toward men, in this case, myself.
My daughters first birthday, a day that was as important to me as to my little angel, was marred by a jealous and clearly insecure woman, I had considered a kindred spirit. It made me wonder how long the wool had been pulled over my eyes and how long I had been dancing ignorantly in the dark to the tune of insincerity.

I'm not saying in anyway that I am immune to the charm of jealously but I have never (yes, I can say that with absolute certainty) lowered myself to making someone else feel bad about the good news they are sharing with me. I have, actually, gone above and beyond the call of duty when feeling happy for someone else, because let me tell you, no one likes a bitter Betty. Well that's what I thought, but apparently bitter Betty's are a dime a dozen. Go figure.

My naive way of thinking is fast becoming a thing of the past and I find myself wary of the intentions of others, as much as I don't want to live like this, as much as I want to believe in the best in people, I have yet to be shown that that part exists. Show me a genuine person and Ill show you the optimistic and loving side of myself until then I'll keep my eyes open and my heart shut.

I am never truly shocked when I read stories of people doing things that some of us find inexcusable. So when I came into work this morning, smile on my face, bounce in my step and I came across a story of a man that had faked his own death, to escape debts, I was not going to let that get me down, regardless of what I believe.

But as I delved deeper into this sordid tale, I couldn't help but feel anger towards this person that had affected so many lives by his reckless decisions. His wife was 8 months pregnant when he faked his death and he was recently arrested hopping off a plane from Brazil. Now, we all have our reasons for what we do and I can understand the man had debts that he needed to get away from, who doesn't? But his family believed he had drowned and died, they mourned him and were left with the consequences of his actions. Selfish is the term that immediately comes to my mind.

The more stories I come across, the more hopeless I feel for humankind. I am starting to feel like a completely different breed of person. Jealousy, greed, power, have become the new black. It's the in thing to not be happy for other people, to feel inferior to everyone, to want to live up to the Jones's, to hurt and abuse other people. What are we doing? When is it going to stop?

The saddest part is that I feel so alone in thinking this, I have yet to meet someone else that didn't put their insecurities before someone else's happiness. I've even considered not reading the news anymore because it seems that everyday there is another story that immediately makes me feel like an alien on my own planet.

Things will only change if we are all on the same page. So the next time your neighbor gets a new car, smile and find it in your heart to feel truly happy for them, if you're in financial trouble the last thing you need to do is fake your own death, rally your family and work through it together. Let's be happy for one another, let's stick together and fix the planet that we have damaged so badly, think before you act, we all know what the right thing to do is, so lets do it.